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Vegan Horoscopes for July

Eclipse season is upon us, hug your kittens close

Aries

Aries have been vegans forever — the pioneers of the zodiac, they walked past a Mercy for Animals outreach booth as a teen and changed their lives immediately. The cutie handing out neon VEGAN buttons may have swayed them but being the feistiest fighters, the Rams stuck to the plant-based lifestyle with a passion even after they ended their fiery activist hookup. You can expect Rams to be leading the Vegan LBGTQ Pride parade, ready to knock any counter-protestors the fuck out.

Driven, self-propelled Aries bang headfirst into July’s Eclipse Season, a tough confrontational moment even for the sign that specializes in getting aggro. The July 16th lunar eclipse in Capricorn (another headbutter of a sign) is an ending point for a powerful project Rams have been pushing. A vegan leather belt bag like this one will allow them to keep their agenda and receipts close while going hands-free (in case they need to throw any hands).

Taurus

The most luxury-loving sign, Taurus vegans are experts at indulging themselves and giving cruelty-free treats to their special squad. The Bulls bathrooms are full of the luxest…