Stop the Presses: A Bunny Has Eaten a Snowman’s Carrot Nose

If we had only stopped to think, we might have realized that this was inevitable

A white rabbit eating the carrot nose of a small snowman outdoors on the snow.
Photo: Hannah B via YouTube

In retrospect, it was hubris that led us all to believe we could somehow give our precious snowmen carrot noses without incurring dangerous interest from local bunnies, and it has only been sheer good fortune thus far that has prevented the inevitable from happening. But our luck has run out. Our pride and our recklessness have caught up with us. Our snowmen—defenseless against the ravenous cottontails who lurk in the darkness, drooling with carnivorous rapacity at the very sight of an orange protuberance in the snow—are under attack.

Footage of this recent incident is not easy to stomach. A mother and children gaze in horror out of their window as a monstrous, furry bun-bun hippity-hops over to the helpless snowperson and begins, heartlessly, to nibble upon his precious carrot snout—her steely, predator eyes glowing with anticipation at the prospect of gorging herself on the vegetable sniffer that is his only means of inhaling the snowy air that gives him life.

After what seems like an age, the hideous, floppy-eared nuzzle-bunny grows tired of toying with her terrified prey and takes the orange hooter into her cavernous maw whole, where she proceeds to devour it as the defiled, noseless snow-casualty looks on through the tear-streaked pieces of coal that are his horror-struck eyes. I would advise you not to watch the video, but it is the only way we will learn to prevent such a thing from ever happening again.

Formerly editorial director @BuzzFeed. Currently editor @Tenderly and writer at large. Email: JackAShepherd at gmail

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