Please, I’m Begging You, Start Putting Potatoes on Sandwiches
Why do I have to be the one to say this? What else have they been keeping from us?
I’m not sure what kind of monster decided that the standard vegetarian/vegan option at every non-vegan wedding should be a “roasted vegetable sandwich,” and yet I have eaten so many of them. I’m sure there are great versions of this sandwich concept out there in this big, wide world of delicious plants, but the wedding-caterer version I’m thinking of here is an absolute affront to sandwiches. Ingredients such as tomato, zucchini, eggplant, portobello mushroom, and squash (each wonderful in their own way, on their own terms) are roasted to a pasty, moist mush, doused in—what, vinaigrette and dried herbs?—and then stuffed into a grainy roll. Sometimes, dry spinach leaves or sliced black olives are also included.
If you’re really lucky, you go to an omnivore’s wedding and you get POTATOES: French fries, hashbrowns, a mashed potato bar, or if you’re really, really, really blessed, BAKED POTATOES. These are the veg-options…