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Oat Milk Is Garbage and People Who Drink Oat Milk Have Bad Taste in Milks
Let the milk wars begin
[Tenderly editor’s note: Jack’s views do not represent the views of Tenderly Mag, Summer Anne Burton, Arabella Breck, or anyone else who might feel associated with this radioactive take. Quite the opposite, Tenderly is a staunch supporter of oat milk, and our tests with a professional barista confirmed our beliefs with empirical evidence. Still, we believe in holding space for unpopular opinions. Ultimately, it’s in the oat-milk-loving, taste-having public’s best interest to know people like Jack are out there. — SAB]
I first noticed it at the coffee shop nearest my house. I went to go and get a soy latte as I had a thousand times before and someone had crossed out the word “soy” on the menu and replaced it with “oat.” “Oh, there must be a worldwide soy shortage!” I thought to myself. But when I approached the counter to commiserate with the barista I learned that this was not the case. No, the switch had been deliberate. Baristas like their milk better when it’s made out of oats, apparently. And so do the customers, I was told.
That means that every last one of you is complicit.
I honestly thought we were done with this madness when we beat back the marauding hordes of milks past. Rice milk — more a…
