Loving Kindness in a Time of ‘Karunavirus’
Vegan monk Tashi Nyima shares his wisdom for living graciously and generously through the COVID-19 pandemic and panic
This pandemic, and the fear surrounding it, has slowed normal life down for many. And for some, that can feel somewhat…not natural. But some of the best advice I’ve heard is that “normal” is not the same thing as “natural.”
For example, having I-know-it’s-probably-not-end-of-days-but-maybe-we-should-make-love-like-it-is impulses? Perhaps not normal, but perfectly natural. The fact that 200 million land animals are killed every day, many of them for fast food, in windowless factories? Now normal, but certainly not natural.
With that in mind, I thought it might be time to reach out to the person who taught me that normal/natural distinction in the first place: Monk Tashi Nyima.
I called Tashi on Google Hangouts. He was in his apartment in Dallas, one of the cities that’s an epicenter for Coronavirus panic. He agreed to let me record our conversation so that I might share his wisdom with you. Many of Tashi’s suggestions about how to help yourself and others are hyperlinked by me as potential action items throughout this article. Click through just a few, and my deepest wish is that you will also feel a little less helpless, a little more generous and free.
“I mean, it’s a little ridiculous,” Tashi remarked, of the panic all around him. A Puerto Rican monk with full tattoo sleeves, Tashi is one of the coolest elders I know. He worked for decades as a doctor with some of the most vulnerable populations during the AIDS crisis. After he became a monk, he lived in and served a very poor town in India. He’s seen plenty of poverty and illness and does not appear to fear demise in the slightest. “We’re all going to die anyway!”
“Yeah, I know. But most people would rather it be later than sooner.” (By most people, I meant myself.)
“Well, it’s not going to be that bad.”
“This virus, or dying?”
“Both. And if you cannot solve the problem, what is the use of worrying? Sure, be prudent, but being worried is unnecessary. Actually, it’s one of the most efficient immunosuppressants.”
I could tell Tashi was about to riff, and I was glad. There’s something about watching a 68-year-old monk do standup while sitting down that is very satisfying. “And now, people buying toilet paper like there’s no tomorrow. What are they expecting? For the virus to mutate into diarrhea? I just saw a picture of a young man who had three shopping carts full of toilet paper. Either the man has a very severe case of irritable bowel syndrome, or he is hoarding.”
‘Panic leads to selfish action. What about people who are not as quick, who are not as agile, who can’t wrestle you to the ground for a roll of toilet paper?’
“Ha, right.” I thought guiltily of the sizable grocery delivery due to arrive on my doorstep any minute now. I’d just an hour earlier chastised myself for forgetting to add toilet paper to the order while I still had a chance.
“I think people are falling into very selfish viewpoints right now of, ‘I’m going to save myself.’ What we’re doing is we’re actually making it more difficult for the people who really need these things to get what they require to stay at home. Panic leads to selfish action. What about people who are not as quick, who are not as agile, who can’t wrestle you to the ground for a roll of toilet paper?”
“So is your suggestion we focus that hoarding energy on helping those people instead?”
“Yes, and that will help with your own feelings of fear. Instead of buying toilet paper, check in on an elderly neighbor and see what you can get them. If you’re concerned, you don’t even have to touch them. You can speak through the door.”
‘“Karuna” means compassion. And in Buddhism, the idea is that compassion is also contagious.’
“Especially since elderly people might not know how to order things online,” I added. “The idea reminds me of something I heard on a podcast from the Insight Meditation Center. This teacher Gil Fronsdal said that whenever he hears “Coronavirus” he thinks “Karunavirus,” and imagines it as an opportunity to practice.”
“Yes, exactly!” Tashi smiled. “‘Karuna’ means compassion. And in Buddhism, the idea is that compassion is also contagious. We’ve seen this when people help after natural disasters. The problem is that the threat of this pandemic is hanging over everybody, rather than being something that already happened.”
“So what do we do with that generalized anxiety, when we feel it?”
“Well, if the virus does get you, know you’ll deal with it then. That’s all you can do. Of course, I’m not advocating for people to be irrational and not take precautions, but there comes a point where life has to go on. Otherwise, you’re already dead.”
I thought about how this brand of Tashi/Yoda/Buddhist bluntness (“Fear is the path to the dark side…fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering”) was exactly what led me to quit my day job and finally pursue my book, to stop living life as if it was something I’d get to in the future. I also thought about what a privilege it is to be able to make that choice and not regret it.
“It is also important to think of the millions and millions of people who have no healthcare, if we are fortunate enough to not be among them,” Tashi continued. “Until I had Medicare, I was one of them for decades. There are also millions of people who work but do not have paid time off. There are many, many people who have children. If the schools close, can they afford childcare? There are people who are going to go broke because of this: small business owners…”
“So using some of our money and energy to help them, instead of just ourselves,” I reiterated to myself. “I was also thinking about the importance of keeping perspective here. Thinking about how the numbers of deaths from this virus compare to, say, world hunger fatalities? I looked it up today, and at least nine million people die from hunger-related causes each year alone, roughly one child every ten seconds, according to what I read. Way more fatalities than this pandemic is likely to cause. But that epidemic, by comparison, gets hardly any coverage.”
‘At least 200 million land animals and an estimated 7.3 billion wild fish are killed for food each day. All that suffering is completely unnecessary.’
“Yes, and not only hunger. I mean, how many people die in unnecessary wars? And how many animals? We don’t even consider them. How many animals die every single day so that people can have their five minutes of ‘a taste experience?’ At least 200 million land animals and an estimated 7.3 billion wild fish are killed for food each day.” And that’s not counting those animals killed for fashion or poaching, either. “All that suffering is completely unnecessary,” Tashi shook his head.
Before he was even a monk, Tashi was an avid vegan activist. In fact, I met Tashi at a meditation retreat he leads for farmed animal advocates. It’s sponsored twice a year by the project ServiceSpace in order to support vegan activists in sustaining their mental health.
“You know, there is individual karma, but there’s also collective karma,” Tashi said. “And the collective karma of humans is not particularly positive. The way we’ve treated each other and the way we have treated other species is bound to result in disaster. This is not divine punishment, but mere logic. I’m not surprised by any of this.”
Karma, as Tashi has explained it to me, is not some woo-woo magical concept. It is hardly different than the premise of cause and effect. In Buddhism, no supreme deity is keeping score to punish or reward us. But deforesting more and more of our planet to make room for the millions of animals we kill each day? That results in the destruction of our environment, and a reinforcing of hierarchy and violence in our collective culture. Planting a tree instead? That yields more fruit and oxygen, and possibly hummingbirds being adorable in your vicinity. That’s karma.
“And these pandemics, many of them have a root in farmed animal antibiotic resistance, and the sale of wild animals, or eating animals,” I added. “That’s certainly part of the potential collective karma you’re talking about. That the result of taking and selling all these lives when we don’t need to anymore is behind these ‘plagues,’ just like swine flu and mad cow.”
“Yes, and this is not some vegan argument. If you look at the CDC, they are acknowledging most of these pandemics are zoonotic. They have their origin in animals that we mistreat and mishandle.”
‘We’re just not in a position to keep inflicting harm on ourselves or on the planet this way.’
“And this is a potential silver lining of Coronavirus, right? China banning the sale of wild animals. I mean, that’s a lot of animals who now won’t be abused and/or killed, potentially.”
“Yes. And we all need to contemplate, ‘What is my role in this disaster? What have I contributed to creating the conditions in which this happens?’ Not so that some of us may feel superior. No, some of us have to feel more urgency to do our job and to communicate to others that the way we are dealing with other species and with this planet is not sustainable, whether it’s COVID-19 or whatever may come next. We’re just not in a position to keep inflicting harm on ourselves or on the planet this way.”
“Perhaps this will be a moment when people will start banding together to do this around the world?” I volunteered, “If you think about it, more people around the world are having a shared potentially-existential and slowed-down experience than they have in a very long time, if ever. At the same time that many people are greatly suffering financially and emotionally too.”
“Yes, it is an opportunity to see our interconnectedness and similarities. Unfortunately, many leaders’ responses are to blame others. ‘This is a foreign virus.’ Foreign? No. If it affects humans, it’s not foreign. ‘The solution is to close the borders. We need a bigger wall…Of course, except for those countries in which we have vacation properties.’ But on an individual level, this can be motivation to look at the interdependence between all sentient beings. But to do this, we first need to control our own fear.”
“Right,” I agreed, “It strikes me that the most privileged among us have a real responsibility to learn to work with our discomfort on a personal level, in addition to donating money and helping others. People may be working from home and have more time than usual to do this interior work. Beyond perhaps establishing a meditation practice, how do you suggest people learn to keep fear in check so they can affix their own oxygen mask before helping others?”
“First, we must work to maintain personal calm. Even if it’s a little bit fake at first, it is important to try and not increase the level of fear other people have. The second thing that we can do is we can remain informed, but not look for information from unreliable or fear-inducing sources. Finally, as I said, if there’s anyone in our immediate environment who needs help, let’s take the focus off ourselves and see how we can aid them.”
“And we can also advocate for others remotely, which is convenient.”
“Yes,” Tashi continued, “I am particularly concerned about, what are the homeless going to? If we can get some resources together to help the homeless protect themselves, that would be something that is very necessary. We need to advocate with the government to make health services free for all. Even if only during the duration of the pandemic, everybody should have access.”
‘If you’re not as experienced with death meditations, maybe don’t start during a pandemic. Instead, practice loving-kindness meditation as much as possible.’
I asked him if he had any other ideas of what people can do to help, and he suggested “If you’re self-isolating but still working remotely, you’re probably saving money. Maybe get a little jar and put that money away. Then, maybe at the end of this process, you can give that money to someone in need. And feed some stray animals, now that we know dogs and cats can’t get or transmit it. Maybe go to the animal shelter and spend time with them. They’re Coronavirus-free.”
“Those are great ideas. Are there any specific meditation practices you suggest for cultivating inner peace and perspective as we’re looking outwards, as well? Like, should we be doing death contemplations?” I asked because, for the last year, I’ve been trying to face my fear of impermanence by sometimes doing death meditations and reciting The Four Remembrances. I also installed the app WeCroak on my phone, which reminds me I’m going to die five times a day with an inspirational quote (I highly recommend it).
“While contemplating death is always a good practice, it is a more advanced one,” Tashi answered. “If you’re not as experienced with death meditations, maybe don’t start during a pandemic. Instead, practice loving-kindness meditation as much as possible.”
‘May you be happy and peaceful. May you be healthy and strong. May you feel safe and protected. May you live with ease and joy.’
“Can you explain what that is for people who aren’t familiar?”
“Yes. First, bring to mind yourself, and in your mind and heart, recite, ‘May you be happy and peaceful. May you be healthy and strong. May you feel safe and protected. May you live with ease and joy.’ Then, think of beings you love and do the same. Then, widen your circle of compassion to include beings you don’t love. Finally, wish this for all beings, including strangers and the planet itself. It may seem artificial in the beginning, but the more you repeat things, the more they become established in your mind.”
Here’s a guided loving-kindness meditation by the wonderful teacher Tara Brach to help you get started. (I also can’t recommend her talks and podcast highly enough — start with whatever episode title in her archives appeals most; you can’t go wrong. And here is here advice for creating a home retreat, for those who want to take things a step further.)
I also asked Tashi if there is anything else you can do to wish well for people who are already sick or immunocompromised.
“Yes. You can take things a step further and actually impose them on your hand.” Tashi held up his palm and told me to imagine the middle finger as their head/neck/torso, ring and pointer as their arms. “This method is just a vehicle for focusing the mind, not magic. The more physical the vehicle, the more convinced the mind becomes.” You can superimpose their image onto your hand, and practice even more focused healing thoughts and loving-kindness prayers to them that way.”
Praying doesn’t have to be thought of as religious or magical. If you’re secular, you can still wish others well, and reap the positive psychological effects for all involved. Here’s another good podcast about that.
“And in addition to loving-kindness practice being a nice thing to do for others, you’re saying this is also a great way to soothe our own anxiety, correct?”
‘Focus on wishing safety and health and strength and peace to others, and it will rub off on you. Remember, whatever you wish for others, you’re also wishing for yourself.’
“Yes. The more we do that loving-kindness practice, the more that we deal with our own issues. You know, I just read an article that said the reason why people buy toilet paper in these situations is to make themselves a little less agitated. If you have a big anxiety, you want to buy something big. Probably, you want it to be very absorbent.”
“Ha, right.”
“Well, instead of doing that, consider this practice. I promise you, it is more absorbent. Focus on wishing safety and health and strength and peace to others, and it will rub off on you,” Tashi grinned at his own pun. “Remember, whatever you wish for others, you’re also wishing for yourself.”
“You know, talking about other silver linings, I imagine a lot of people are also contemplating what’s really important in their own lives now.”
I told Tashi about a walk I take most every day. I almost never see anyone else on the path. But the day before, I’d suddenly seen several. Two elderly men grinning on hoverboards like little boys; a woman hiking alone with music streaming out of her backpack; a young family climbing up a very steep hill. I smiled at the mother when she reached the top. I could tell she was a little afraid to get near me but grateful for my smile. I told her it was nice to see other people atop the hill, that I almost never do. Still out-of-breath, she said she’d never been on this hike before. But she kept seeing her friends’ pictures of the view and thought it was finally time she see it for herself.
“It all struck me as so beautiful,” I told Tashi. “That perhaps many people, the lucky ones, are doing things they’ve been putting off. So people may already be thinking about it naturally, but are there other practices you suggest to help with that sort of carpe diem mentality?”
“One type of death meditation people can do that’s a little less scary is to write down a list of the ten things you would do if you knew you only had ten more years to live. Then put that list away and make another. If you thought you only had five years, then put that one away. If you only have one year, then put that away. If you only have one month, put that away. If you only have one day, put that away. If you only had one hour, put that away. If you had one moment. What it does is it brings up, what are your real priorities?”
“Yes, that’s a great one.” (Meditation teacher Jonathan Foust’s podcast episode “Getting Real About What You Really Want” also helps guide you in a version of this same contemplation.)
“You can use this exercise to assess, ‘Would I keep working this job? Would I spend more time with my family and friends? Would I take more time for myself? Would I read more?’”
“But that’s a privilege too, to be able to make those changes. Right?”
“Yes, but most of the people who will read your article are probably not at the point where it’s between their job or starving,” he said, gently calling that excuse out. “If you make your life simpler and less expensive, you will need to make less money. You could perhaps live in a smaller space with more people, but more in line with your deepest wishes and values.”
But with deliberate practice, the hope is that we learn to release our bracing against this truth. Instead, we use knowledge of our impermanence and interconnectedness to give our lives deeper meaning and joy.
And with that in mind, I thanked Tashi and turned off my computer. I looked out the window at trees and made lunch for my mother and boyfriend. We FaceTimed my uncle, sick with a different illness and isolated in a nursing facility. He was not without much to be grateful for, either. How fortunate we are, to still be on this ride. How rapidly, in the scheme of time, all of us are have been handed the same terminal prognosis. How difficult it can be to remember this and not turn to fear instead of aliveness.
But with deliberate practice, the hope is that we learn to release our bracing against this truth. Instead, we use knowledge of our impermanence and interconnectedness to give our lives deeper meaning and joy. And with the increase in energy that appreciation affords us, we more effectively pay our love and kindness forward.
So, with that in mind, my sincerest wish: May you be happy and peaceful. May you be healthy and strong. May you feel safe and protected. May you live with ease and joy.
