Member-only story
How to Translate Your Cat’s Meows
From a natural interpurrter
Everyone wants to know what their cat is telling them. Science has revealed that cats don’t meow at other cats — only at humans. So what on Earth could they be saying?
As a seasoned cat owner, I’ve begun to decipher these mysterious communications and have compiled a short phrasebook meant to help us poor humans gain a deeper understanding* of our feline companions.
*Use these translations at your own risk.
Let’s get started.
“MROW.”
This is a truly classic meow, and can only mean one thing. Your cat has just discovered the existence of a ghost in your house and is trying to let you know ASAP.
This meow is typically accompanied by running very quickly to nowhere in particular, (known as the “zoomies”) and staring at the same blank wall for minutes without blinking. That’s where the ghost is.
