How to Force Cats to Love You
From the purrspective of a cat!
Have you ever visited someone’s house and they have a cat, and the cat just immediately takes to you?
Of course not.
We cats aren’t unconditional love dispensers like dogs are. We’re better than that. You don’t just automatically get given our love. To paraphrase Britney, you better work, b*tch. And even then… you might just not be lucky enough.
But you can certainly try your best. Here are some guidelines that you must follow, to the letter, in order to get your friendly neighborhood cat to love you.
Rule 1. Don’t try too hard.
Cats can sense a try-hard, like horses can smell fear. We despise wannabes. The harder you try, the less we’ll like you.
Only when you become like us, without a care in the world, floating effortlessly from person to person, graciously accepting all tokens of gratitude (and catitude), with no attachments, can you understand and receive our love. Deal with it.
