Go Outside, Spring Is for Feeling Alive
On depression and sunshine
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Editor’s note: I’m the editor and founder of Tenderly, Summer Anne Burton. If you’re a regular reader, you may have noticed that we haven’t been publishing as often as usual lately. Mostly, that’s been because of my personal problems, some of which I talk about here, and some of which are private. But, we’re coming back! I’ll be blogging here on a near-daily basis and we’ll be bringing in new contributors and your favorite columns are all coming soon. I’ll be writing a bit more next week about what Tenderly has in store and how you can be part of it if you want. In the meantime, I highly recommend taking the advice of dozens of readers who have made Alicia’s citrus cake in recent weeks — it’s a delicious day-brightener!
Today I was laying in the hammock feeling sorry for myself, which was a step up from my usual routine of laying in my bed in the dark feeling sorry for myself. It’s a really nice day.
As some of you may know, Texas has had a rough month. My beloved habitat was coated in snow and freezing temperatures that no one in the state was prepared for, least of all our Republican state leadership’s bright idea of a completely independent and privatized power grid. At my house, we lost power for nearly four days, but that wasn’t as scary as my elderly grandmother losing hers for almost as long. We lost water on day one and discovered later that our 4-year-old tankless hot water heater was busted, and the model to replace it is on backorder. We are privileged enough to [Editor’s note: kind of!!!] be able to afford to stay in hotels off and on ever since, because hot showers feel like a physical and mental health priority in this time of great worry.
There are so many different reasons, a lot of them no one’s fault at all and a few of them some very specific people’s fault — looking at you, Governor Greg Abbott — that the last few days, weeks, and months have been so fucking depressing and sad. I’ve felt lucky, because I haven’t lost anyone close to me to Covid-19 — I feel like I should say yet, or is that the wrong thing? — and friends and family are starting to be vaccinated, and I think I’ll be vaccinated soon as well.
But feeling lucky is a bit of a curse right now too, because what does it mean to feel…
